No Fits, No Fights, No Feuds

"No Fits, No Fights, No Feuds" is the eleventh episode of the third season of the ABC television series Desperate Housewives. It was also the 58th episode of the show. The episode was written by Alexandra Cunningham and Josh Senter and directed by Sanaa Hamri. It first aired on January 7, 2007.

"No Fits, No Fights, No Feuds"
Desperate Housewives episode
Episode no.Season 3
Episode 11
Directed bySanaa Hamri
Written byAlexandra Cunningham & Josh Senter
Production code311
Original air dateJanuary 7, 2007
Guest appearance(s)


Gabrielle receives flowers, but the card does not specify who sent them. Gabrielle believes Carlos sent them to sabotage her relationship with Bill, but Carlos says he did not send them. Gabrielle visits the flower shop and asks the owner who sent the flowers, but she refuses to tell her as the buyer has asked to remain anonymous. Gabrielle locks the owner up into a room so she can look through the paper work. However, Bill comes into the store, and is horrified at Gabrielle's actions. Gabrielle decides not to discover who the sender is, but it is too late for the couple and Bill breaks up with her. Gabrielle leaves and Bill releases the flower shop owner.

Kayla returns to Wisteria Lane, when she moves in with the Scavos full-time. Kayla wants to watch TV while eating dinner, but Lynette won't let her as it is a rule that you can only eat dinner at the table. Kayla insists that Lynette lets her do it because Nora let her. Lynette allows her to "just this once". Lynette takes the children out for ice cream, but when they have to leave, Kayla refuses to because she wants to finish her ice cream, but Lynette cannot wait for her. Kayla screams at Lynette that she does not have to listen to her because she's not her mother. Lynette tells her boys that if they get Kayla into the car, they can eat dinner in front of the TV for a week, so they drag her out. As Tom tucks Kayla into bed, he asks her why she is giving Lynette a hard time. Kayla tells him that she blames Lynette for the death of Nora. Tom asks her to be nicer to Lynette. Kayla says she will, but that does not mean she loves her. Lynette is hurt when she overhears this.

Susan visits Mike in prison and hogs the credit for hiring the lawyer. Mike tells her that he no longer believes Edie's lies about her. Susan tells him that Ian does not want her seeing him anymore, and they say goodbye. Mike runs into Paul in prison. Paul tells him that he does not believe that he killed Monique.

Julie loses her virginity to Austin. The following day, it is revealed that Austin has also been sleeping with Danielle Van De Kamp and Danielle gives him an ultimatum: either allow the affair to go on, or she will tell Julie. Austin decides to keep having the affair in order to keep Julie from knowing about it.

The mystery surrounding Alma Hodge is finally revealed. Alma wants to leave him because she found lipstick on his shirt. After Orson comes home, Alma tells him she is indeed leaving him, and he does not care because he does not love her. Alma is hurt and leaves. She goes to Winnipeg to live with her aunt Agnes. And Orson frees Alma's parrot, Baby—he did not kill it. In the present, she arrives on Wisteria Lane to confront him. Bree faints after meeting Alma. Orson is shocked to see her and furious that she set him up to look like a murderer. Bree decides to throw a dinner party featuring Alma to show off to Wisteria Lane that Orson did not murder her. Susan shares the information about Orson being at the mental hospital with Lynette and Gabrielle. She also shares it with Detective Ridley. She also tells Detective Ridley about Orson's affair with Monique. Before the dinner party, Alma injects herself with something. Detective Ridley crashes the party to ask Orson some questions. Bree learns about Susan's talk with Detective Ridley. She feels betrayed and ends her friendship with Susan. Edie shows Alma around the Applewhites' old house, and Alma decides to buy it.


This episode attracted 18.6 million viewers in its original US airing.

Series continuity

Unlike most other episodes, the ending monologue was done by Alma Hodge instead of Mary Alice Young (Except the last sentence, in which Mary Alice replied to Alma's last sentence, "I just want to fit in." with "Oh, you will, Alma. You absolutely will.")

Title reference

The episode title, No Fits, No Fights, No Feuds is taken from the lyrics of the song, "Together, Wherever We Go" from a musical Stephen Sondheim wrote lyrics for, Gypsy.

International titles

  • French (Canada): L’ombre d’un doute (The Darkness of a Doubt)
  • French: L’ombre d’un doute (The Darkness of a Doubt)
  • German: Unmoralische Absichten (Immoral Intentions)
  • Italian: Deponiamo le armi (Set Down the Weapons)
  • Spanish: Sin Ira ni Demonios (Without Wrath and Demons)
  • Hungarian: Se had, se harc, se háború (No Fits, No Fights, No Feuds)

Awards Notes


  1. "2007 Emmys CONFIRMED Episode Submissions". The Envelope Forum, Los Angeles Times. Archived from the original on June 26, 2007. Retrieved 2007-06-18.
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